Marvel Scientists Create Ultimate Social Justice Hero

Marvel Comics has been in a bit of a social justice slump of late. Last month, an executive was blasted for saying diversity may be to blame for lagging sales, and this week, rival DC Comics is beating them to the punch with ‘Wonder Woman,’ a female-led superhero film.

But the studio that brought us the character Phoenix is not one to stay down for the count. Marvel scientists announced they have genetically created a new superhero, Justicar, who is so diverse, Justicar contains four previously undiscovered races and seven new genders.

“Justicar is the future of the Marvel cinematic universe,” said Marvel geneticist, Anna Vitak. “Justicar is so diverse, that Justicar’s pronoun is Justicar. This exciting new superhero/heroine/heroicar is incapable of white-washing or appropriating any movie and will thus star in all future Marvel films. Soon, Justicar will be defending safe spaces from the Alt-Right Army using Justicar’s trusty weapon, the Blade of Macro Aggression.”

In addition to replacing more triggering heroes, Justicar will have Justicar’s own story arc starting in 2020. Rumor has it that the first villain will be President Trump.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: