Princess Follows Heart, Murders Family With Shovel

Royal Palace, Diglandia – Princess Ruby of Diglandia has been arrested and charged with the violent double-murder of her parents, King Boulder and Queen Amethyst. Police say the gore, which covered walls in five rooms of the palace, was so grisly that it put the first officer at the scene into shock.

Citizens in the fairy tale kingdom of Diglandia expressed grief over the news. Many were quick to blame the princess’s recent educational shift. It was widely known that Ruby was being groomed for a role in a children’s film.

One servant in the palace, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “I don’t know why they thought it a good idea to fill her head with that nonsense about just following her heart. Everyone knew the princess had a strained relationship with her parents. Of course her heart was going to tell her to murder them.”

No one is sure who will replace King Boulder on the throne, but four separate lunatics have appeared at the palace gates, all claiming that talking animals assured them it was their destiny to rule.

Written by C.W. Briar

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