Peoria, IL – Heavy-hearted officials at the Peoria Comic-Con announced the scheduled Marvel Civil War Reenactment claimed three lives.
“No one likes to see a hero die,” said organizer Blaire Whitstone, “but these things happen in war.”
Names of those involved are being withheld at this time. Under conditions of anonymity, one official said a pre-planned battle spiraled out of control
A 27-year-old man dressed as Iron Man picked a fight with one of the Captain Americas. Iron Man had an asthma attack and, struggling to get out of his costume in time, collapsed before using his inhaler. He later died.
Black Panther sprinted to Iron Man’s aid but was not used to such rigorous activity. He sprained an ankle and knocked a different Captain America into Scarlet Witch. She suffered head trauma when she struck the ground.
Spiderman tried to leap down from the second floor balcony and suffered a compound fracture to his leg.
Hawkeye fired NERF arrows into the group. War Machine returned fire but struck a girl in the eye as she waited in line for an Adventure Time panel.
Others got pulled into the fight. An obese, 45-year-old Cloud from Final Fantasy tackled Black Widow and Deadpool as they were eating roasted peanuts. Deadpool choked, and Cloud suffered a heart attack. A first responder dressed as Batman experienced a sever allergy reaction to the peanuts.
The tragedy far surpasses last year’s incident when an offended My Little Pony fan mistook a utility closet for a designated safe space. She electrocuted herself when she came in contact with the power transformer.
Written by C.W. Briar